What a week it’s been

I don’t know about you, but I tend to feel very deeply about people and circumstances. Maybe it’s my imagination or maybe God has given me a deep sense of empathy. Whatever it is, it’s been there my whole life. It’s especially prevalent when family goes through things, good or bad. And this week has been a rough one. Please don’t misunderstand me, though. This is not about me and never has been. I just feel burdened for my family, who are burdened far more than I can imagine.

One of my cousins on my dad’s side had a baby the day after Christmas. Ever since, he’s been struggling with gaining weight – in fact, he lost a good percentage of his weight the very first week. Praise the Lord, his amazing doctors in Florida figured out the issue and as of Monday, his surgery is already over. He should be just fine.

But then this week, we got a call that a cousin on my mom’s side had a 16 year old son killed in a car accident on his way to school. This has settled like a rock in the pit of my stomach and I just can’t shake it. While we haven’t seen my relatives on my mom’s side in a long time, I am a mother and Facebook does wonders in connecting people. I find myself holding my kids a little longer, crying a whole lot, and telling them how much they’re loved and how big a plan God has for them.

When I got this news on Tuesday, I was home alone with my boys. Brian couldn’t come home and I didn’t expect him to. But, the news really shook me up and I just needed consolation. I don’t know where you turn, but for me, my only thought was, “Where is my Bible?!” Not my new one that’s still being broken in, but my old one – the one that has traveled around the world, been written in, cried on, marked up, and stuffed with every manner of keepsake and note. It just falls open and reminds me of having a conversation with an old friend. I opened it up and just begged God for comfort. He gave me this verse {and isn’t it funny – the verses surrounding it were marked up, but this one was not. God really gives you what you need when you need it}:

I will hide beneath the shadow of Your wings until this violent storm has passed. -Ps. 57:1

How fitting, isn’t it? Just hide. Just sit, rest, and hide under His protection, warmth, and comfort until it’s over.

My parents will arrive in Topeka tomorrow to be around for the funeral and to help my extended family process this tragic, sudden death. I ask that you pray for all of them. No one should ever bury a child. The pain is incomprehensible.

It’s been a tough week. I’ll do a more upbeat blog hopefully next week…

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