I had a whole blog entry planned that was going to cover last week. But, then we had one crazy weekend – all the way through Monday night – and honestly, I barely remember last week at all. Here, finally, is the brief run-down of what exactly happened:
Friday evening we had our 7mos check-up for the baby. During the course of the check-up, I asked a few questions about the baby’s movements and position that caused my doctor to question a few things. Our doctor’s office is pretty neat – she has an ultrasound machine in her office, so we actually get to see our baby every month. But, she admitted to us that it’s barely more than a glorified doppler – she doesn’t use it for much more than checking the heartrate, really. She was showing us the baby, who was finally lower in my uterus as opposed to sitting straight up in it, and so I asked her, “If the baby is so low, what am I feeling up under my ribs constantly?” She looked at me funny and said, “I’m sure it’s just the feet.” She ended up putting the machine down and just feeling around for a few minutes – no talking, very concentrated. I was beginning to get concerned when she finally said, “Um, I think there’s two.” She ended up finding a second head, second heartbeat, second body, and then putting her hand where she found it and going back down to where the “first” baby was and finding a whole other head, heartbeat, etc! We were all convinced there were twins – we had absolutely no reason to think otherwise. She suggested we get a more in-depth ultrasound, 3D or 4D, to make sure the “new” baby was really okay and to get a better read on things. We scheduled that for Monday afternoon.
We spent the weekend making the announcement, going to a yardsale and shopping for gender-neutral clothes since we couldn’t see the sex of the “new” one, and dealing with our emotions. We went from extreme elation to being extremely nervous, to finally being just plain excited at this new blessing. We couldn’t wait to actually see a clearer picture of both babies and, more importantly, make sure they were both okay!
Honestly, Monday crawled by. We were so anxious, we got to our appointment (I almost hate to admit this!) an hour early! And then everything unraveled. The doctor we got to do the 4D was, how shall I put this nicely?, a jerk. At first, he told us that yes, there were two babies. Then, he just quit talking to us. Almost 15 minutes went by of pure silence while he ran the machine over me as fast as possible, so we couldn’t even follow what was going on on the screen. I would ask a question and he would basically tell me to be quiet and wait. When he finally talked again, he said, “I don’t know what your doctor was thinking. There’s obviously only one” (even though he’d thought there were two, too!). Then he went on to sarcastically explain what was going on and basically told us our doctor was an idiot because not only is there only one baby, it’s also a boy, not a girl! He delivered the news so abruptly and so rudely, Brian literally almost passed out. What really got me was that at the end he said, “Now, who are you going to believe? Me? Or your doctor? I know I’m right, but you can always wait until you deliver to see that. Or you can go get an X-ray. I don’t really care. I know I’m right and she’s wrong. There’s one and it’s a boy.” I’ve never wanted to slap a man so badly in my life.
We were obviously upset when we left the office and decided to go immediately to my doctor and talk with her. I really shouldn’t say “talk”; I sat in her office and cried. She was so sympathetic and so nice, so apologetic and just very considerate. She agreed that if the 4D didn’t pick up a second baby, there probably isn’t one. But, she didn’t understand what she saw on Friday and neither did we. And honestly, we weren’t sure we trusted the other guy. She suggested we go to a different clinic and get a 3D ultrasound, possibly even that evening, just to make everything clear. We took her advice, walked across the street, waited another 45min, and got our second ultrasound of the day.
This man has done Elena’s ultrasounds and our 12wk ultrasound for this baby. He’s very considerate, explains everything, and even throws in some English words for us. He remembered us and took his time with the entire exam. At the very end, I told him our doctor thought there might be two. Instead of being rude, sarcastic, or just discrediting it, he said, “Well, I don’t think so, but let me check.” He checked slow enough that even we could see that no, there’s only one. But, even more importantly, he took his time to explain why our doctor thought there were two! He took his hand and traced on my belly the length of our little boy. He’s not chubby, but wow is he long. Very long. Then, he said our little boy is very active. He flips and changes position every few seconds. When I say he changes positions, I mean he changes the entire place he’s lying and the entire position he’s in – almost constantly. It’s crazy! He asked if I could feel lots of movement and I said yes, he moves all the time! He explained to us that with a simpler machine, there would be absolutely no reason why our doctor would think there was only one. He said by all appearances, even with feeling around, with how quickly he moves, how often he moves, and how incredibly long he is, it looks like two babies. But, no, there’s only one. It’s a boy and he’s, praise the Lord, very healthy.
So, we basically hit all the emotions on the scale in about four days. We were just emotionally beat by Monday evening and I was still having a hard time Tuesday. We were so excited about having twins and just as quickly as we accepted the news, it was taken away from us (and not very nicely). And then it was replaced with, not the girl we’d been bonding with for seven months, but a little boy! I mean, I’m not really sure things could change anymore drastically in such a short time period.
We did want to thank you all for the sweet comments and emails this week. Thank you for being considerate; we really couldn’t have handled rude or insensitive comments this week! We really appreciate your support. As of right now, we’re doing okay, but it’s still painful. We can’t sit and think about it or talk about it without tears. But, it’s certainly not because we’re disappointed about our little boy!
Over all, God has remained so faithful. It was such a great reminder to know that none of this took Him by surprise. I think if He had been up in heaven going, “Oh shoot! Now what?”, I wouldn’t have been able to handle this week at all. But, knowing that He wasn’t taken by surprise and that He has a plan made all of this bearable. I was up Tuesday morning at 3 and found these verses written on a notecard in my Bible:
“But forget all that – it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do a brand new thing. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness for my people to come home. I will create rivers in the desert!” – Isaiah 43:18-19
A brand new thing. Yup, that’s definitely what He’s doing. And he is beautiful, healthy, and will be here soon.
Continue to pray for us; there’s still some healing left to do.
On another note, here’s a few more prayer requests:
- Elena woke up early this morning vomiting and hasn’t really stopped yet. It’s pushing 10 and she’s finally sleeping again, but she’s not running a fever so hopefully it’ll just get out of her system quickly.
- Conoce Al IBYM begins this afternoon. Pray we’d have a good turnout despite the fact that the holiday isn’t technically until Saturday (Peruvian Independence Day). Pray for the teens that are coming – that they’d be open to what God has for them this weekend. Pray for our special speaker, Pastor Jon Rissmiller, as he speaks five times in three days. Pray for our IBYM students as they are counselors and in charge of different areas, doing music and skits, and just generally involved in all the goings-on.
Again, thank you for being so understanding with us this week! Hope you have a nice weekend!